Fate/Zero: Episode 19

After watching this episode, I cannot help but feel sorry for Kiritsugu, almost pity him. This episode in particular not only showed what kind of person he was before he turned into the person he became now but also what he had to do in order to get this far.

Kiritsugu decides to become Natalia’s apprentice, but it would be more difficult to get her approval than he wanted. Each day, whenever a new assignment arrived, she would never bring him with her. To prove his worth for her, Kiritsugu would practice cleaning, disassemble, and reassemble a gun as well as practicing how to aim and shoot it. Of course, he would work up until he was tired, of which Natalia would notice every time she returned. Even during standby, Natalia would watch as Kiritsugu as he trains on his on until she finally approves him of coming with her.

Since that day, the two would work together on various missions, with Kiritsugu improving with every mission. In fact, Natalia is impressed that he is able to separate his  emotions when he kills naturally at such a young age. It was almost as if Kiritsugu was meant to perform these kinds of tasks; the perfect assassin. Later, Natalia would extract some of his origin and embedded it in several bullets. She tells her that his origin was the ability to sever and bind relationships. Such a power would be very deadly for mages, for if they were shot with his power while their magical affinity was on, they would almost be instantly killed as their power would be severed from their bodies and forcefully bind into something else. It truly seems as though he was made to be a cold-blooded killer.

Years have passed since he has become her apprentice and working under her wing. Kiritsugu continues to kill his enemies, but still shows emotions whenever he sees people killed in front of him. Here Kiritsugu wonders what he has to do to make sure no such things ever happen again. Kiritsugu thought that filling his father would be more than enough, but Natalia tells him it is going to take more than just that. If he really wishes to think like that, he would have to kill all those with an evil mind, which possibly would be everyone. Natalia reminds him that he must care about his own survival first, for they are the ones who are secretly changing the society. No one would be performing any back tactics as well as they could.

An assignment was been tasked for them to take out someone that she failed to defeat a long time ago. This time, it would be her chance to redeem herself with some personal gain. Natalia would take out her adversary during their plane flight while Kiritsugu would take out his friends back in New York. Both would perform their task with ease, but none of them were expecting what was going to happen next. While Natalia was disposing his familiars, apparently, he was also finding some of them inside his boy. Therefore, everyone in the plane has turned into a ghoul. Natalia is in a poor position with a low survival rate. When Kiritsugu obtain this information about her, he himself gets in position by going out at sea.

Natalia manages to get the plane without any harm, but she has not flown a plane like this before. Here, we get to see another side of Natalia other than her cold and calculating self. During what seemed to be her final moments, Natalia wishes to talk to Kiritsugu for one last time. Here, they were talking about their past together and the things that they have done together. Kiritsugu thanks her for taking someone like him into her arms. He considered her his family for all the things that she has one for him. Natalia would like it if she sees her as his mother. When the plane comes into view, Kiritsugu fires a rocket launcher at the plane destroying it along with the ghouls and her. Briefly, we see a smile on her face, symbolizing that she was satisfied with the way that she died.

This is the moment where we see Kigitsugu break down from something that he has done. Kiritsugu breaks down to the ground, bawling in tears wailing at himself. He tells himself to shut up, to stop crying, for if he were to continue to do so, everything that he has done would be a waste. He would be considered a murderer. He has taked away not only his father, but also someone who he can call has his mother. Clearly he had nothing left. But now, with Shirlet still on his mind, he must continue to be the man that she wishes to see in him. Therefore, he holds back his tears and continues forward,. There is no sch thing for turning back, for that would be accepting that he was wrong and nothing more than a cold killer. He has to move on; it was his only choice to stay human.


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