Father’s Day and…Joong?

At least, that was what I have been told what they are for my entire life. In any case, Father’s Day, the third Sunday of June, is a time in which we give thanks to our fathers, grandfathers, husbands, etc. for everything that they have done for us. Using Wikipedia once more, Father’s Day was founded in a similar fashion like Mother’s Day when Sonora Smart Dodd, although failed for a few years, was finally able to get Father’s day to a national holiday for her dad, a single parent who raised her and five other children alone.

As for what I did at Father’s Day, I was helping my grandmother make…something. I never really knew what that something was. All my life, every certain time of the year, I would be eating sticky rice with filling wrapped around with bamboo leaves, and I would have no idea what they were called. I was always told that what I was eating was “joong (粽),” however, that was apparently the answer to almost everything that I eat that I have no idea what they were called, so I never truly believed either her or my grandfather, who also calls it that. Then came Wikipedia, and sure enough, what I ate did have a name: Zongzi () or Joong for short. The food was apparently created and eaten during the Dragon Boat Festival, which falls on the fifth day of the fifth month of the lunar calender, so, logically, I guess today had to be that day.

Since my grandmother has been making this probably her entire life, and I am old enough to take care of myself, I was thinking, why not? Surely, I can do something like this. I have cooked for partial of dinner before, so something like this should be fine as well. Cooking was never a clean activity, and rice was sticking over my hands, but after the first two tries, I got used to this and continued to create as many batches of joong as I can until we run out of bamboo leaves. OF course, the learning of making these things was not the only reason in my mind. Recently my grandmother has been suffering from unknown joint and muscle pain. She is having a hard time walking own the stairs, using the handrail as support, and finds herself tired most of the time. While I believe that old age is starting to get to her, I want to believe that she will be fine as long as she sees a doctor, which was to be planned in the day after tomorrow, if she was still in such a state tomorrow. I love her to bits; I would dislike it if she were to go already. I already have one grandfather that left me (from my father’s side) years ago that I highly regret not being there for the last minute of his death due to my own selfishness. I do not wish for the same to happen again.

As for what I did for Father’s day, like Mother’s Day, we went to a restaurant where my grandfather was the main star. Like my grandmother, I love my grandfather just as much, although, sometimes, I wish he were to stop overfeeding me. Apparently, the Chinese were taught that eating makes you healthy, so he brings me food whenever he has the chance to. Sadly, society tells me that eating too much over the standard calorie diet would make one physically unattractive, so I would usually reject his kin offer for food, even though I knew he meant it for good intentions.

Sadly, in the same situation, I despise my father just as much as I despise my mother. Although I know they have done everything for me, I cannot forgive them for that they have done that shattered my innocence and threw reality at my face. I, who was sheltered my entire live, living an idealistic small world, ha that concept thrown out the window. I think it was then that my former cheery self now became this rather pessimistic and dull person who lost faith in the world. It is most likely my main reason why I do not wish to become a parent, much less a spouse for someone else, If something like that can happen, I fell as though I will not be able to handle the pain if the same happens to me. I guess I am considered weak in the eyes of some people.

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